There is something to be said for your "persona" in your work to take over a bit. In your day to day life, soul, heart, and so forth. In that, one begins to lose oneself. Fernando Pessoa, the author of a book I had mentioned here a while ago -- The Book of Disquiet -- is an extreme but significant example of personas taking over (since he had several), a loss of self, and an alienation that one does not desire but may happen as a default. It is hard for me to explain my emotions, but they are real. And I know also that in feeling and living with these emotions, I cannot forget the importance of Truth, Beauty, and most of all my Self. Since the book is finished now, I feel I can begin to move away and back from my personas in the book who have been making a little mischief in my life the last few weeks in particular. Gain perspective, an objectivity. Perspective and objectivity are only the best of things for writers anyway ... nothing will get better in the writing without it and the same goes with life and its little searches.
Things will become wonderful in the truth we find and seek ...
I need to get over my constant fear -- the constant dichotomy -- of feeling misunderstood while never really wanting to be understood completely. The allure of mystery has gotten me into trouble before ... I need to listen to the objectivity offered by those I genuinely care about, the ones who can bring me an order out of chaos if I am willing to listen.
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