After some time with my depression again, after my seeming fall into the proverbial pits of realization, I am cured in the mission I am now a part of -- the mission of Truth and Beauty. I accept this and all things completely. I shall devour the world lovingly and pass onto it my findings. It may terrify, but mostly it will comfort. The arterial pockets of the world will be filled with this Truth and Beauty.
Now that I have allowed delusion to die in me, the very notion I thought was my ticket to happiness, I immediately see the freedom and newness of all of it. I have a mission and I am important to that mission. I accept it like the moon accepts its cycles. It is all a cycle. We are all a cycle.
I had lost my way. I had begun to lose poetry. And in that I had begun to lose Truth and Beauty. And I think I did lose it all for a few moments ... but it came back to me as soon as I let go of delusion. As soon as I wrote all night ... in scribbled words I found the answers and found the ground I am meant to tread again. I deserve the torque now not because I am a great poet, but because I am a poet who will seek all the necessary everythings in the world.
My visions of airports, of hearing in this vision my out-of-breath running, I know that mission has begun now. It is all so massive. I am terrified but comforted.
And I have the wisdom of you ... and you know who you are ... on that coast I need to make it to, that West, that North: No matter what you think, there is always more to love.
This is the first clue to all of it.
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